Blog

And so we return to my annual blog series, (previous years here and here) with one of my favourite video game villains of all time. This year – Earthbound and Mother 3‘s Porky Minch. (in case it needs saying, SPOILER ALERT – if you have any intention of playing Earthbound or Mother 3, you might … Read more

i. Come to a land of wind and ice Where keeping warm’s an effort So cold your teeth clack-clack like dice Yet drier than a desert A land where sunlight strikes the snow And shines as bright as solar flares Look! Marching, row on stately row, A mighty flock of polar bears What’s that? No, … Read more

The next episode of Podcast Mi Amor is up and available for streaming or download. You can have a listen here. This week, the show covers such diverse topics as dreams, sauna ettiquette, and William Hague. Also, we have a guest! Joining us this time is Molly Naylor. It was really good fun to record, … Read more

Hey ‘gang’, I’ve started a new podcast with Joe Deeney called Podcast Mi Amor. It’s largely chatting about semi-interesting stories with some poems and songs thrown in. This episode, we discuss Shane Richie, Wordsworth, and ghosts. You can download or listen to it here. I’ve got very little experience of podcasting, so I’m hoping over … Read more

Hiya chuck. Here’s two videos of me playing uke live, one at Sundown’s Union Chapel gig (which was freezing) and one at The League Of Extraordinary Poets at the Silver Bullet (which was clement): Tim Clare performing at The League of Extraordinary Poets from Ants in my Pants on Vimeo. I’m going to try to … Read more

So I’ve been doing quite a bit of research for my planned new show, How To Be A Leader, poring over weird, shouty manuals by business ‘gurus’, reading about the lives of tyrants throughout history, and reading research from psychology and sociology on how someone becomes a leader, and what makes people follow them. The … Read more

On Thursday 26th November, 2009, I sat hunched over a laptop and knocked out 100 poems in a single day (which you can read here). I only just squeaked in before the deadline, and was left feeling dizzy, anxious and exhausted. This year, I decided to try again. On Friday 26th November, 2010, I sat … Read more

Twas in a dream The Scholar strode, The Scholar strode with me, We walked o’er shale Through wind and hail Beside the tumbling sea Twas in a dream Through squall and gale Beside the tumbling sea Beneath our feet, a brittle hoard, A trove of Neptune’s bric-a-brac By cliffs where Satan walks abroad A-riding sinners … Read more

Watching the rainstorm through an open skylight I have never felt so cosy. Ash leaves lap fatly at the drenched air, Splaying like wet bats at each gush of sea wind Then slapping back down as black oilskins Or a haul of thrashing sprats. The full moon is burning through the cloudbank, Lamplight in biscuit-coloured … Read more

So, for those of you who missed it, a couple of months back we – that is, I, and the rest of Aisle16 – did a special night of our regular London literary cabaret club Homework, dedicated to the poem that Tom Cruise delivers in Cocktail, ‘The Last Barman Poet’. We thought it might just … Read more

So, since it’s Halloween I thought I’d write a leetle summink on some of the creepiest, crawliest, soil-your-drawersiest video games of all time. ‘Of all time’ is an unnecessarily grand phrase when discussing video games, given that the medium has only existed for just over 30 years. Still. Woooooo! Now some of you suckers may … Read more

So, last year you may know I wrote 100 Poems In A Day. The idea was to give my muse a bit of an enema. I’m a vicious procrastinator and writing bits and pieces that end up going down well only makes my work-dodging tendencies worse. I wanted to force myself to produce 100 little … Read more

I’ve been back a week from the Fringe now, and I thought it might be polite to mention all the monkey business I got up to. Let’s get the self-congratulatory stuff out the way first – yes, Death Drive went well, cheers. It becomes slightly surreal, saying the same hour’s worth of words at the … Read more

So the talented Wasi Daniju came to my show a few days ago and took some great snaps of my frothing and contorting in the name of art. If you haven’t seen Tim Clare’s Death Drive yet and wonder what on earth goes on in that stuffy oblong room, these images should give you a … Read more

On Tuesday morning, I grumpily slogged through the driving rain to set up shop on Edinburgh Fringe’s Royal Mile. It took me ages to set up the complicated camping table, and my graphic design skills aren’t up to much, so the sign I drew in black marker on the spot looked a little forlorn. To … Read more

Wahey! I’m up in Edinburgh for my first ever Fringe run and having a lovely time. There’s mental amounts of stuff to see and thronging crowds and it all feels dreadfully exciting. You get quite publicity jaded pretty quickly, what with the mass of posters screaming at you from every wall and window, and flierers … Read more

So I’m just about to make the long trip north for my first full innings at the Edinburgh Fringe – almost a month’s worth of gigging, schmoozing, promoting, and getting to watch some of the best performers in the world. Probably some of the worst, too, come to think of it. One thing’s for sure … Read more

I’m sorry I haven’t updated much since the switch to the new site. I’ve been that killer combo of busy/lazy. I’m getting up to lots of mischief, however, not least of which is my imminent decamping northwards, to take my first ever solo show, Tim Clare’s Death Drive, to the Edinburgh Fringe. ‘But what is … Read more

So me and John Osborne recorded a podcast about podcasts called ‘The Podcast Podcast’, which you can listen to here. The first episode is called ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told’ and it’s about our favourite stories and storytellers on radio and free downloads across the internet. Unfortunately, neither of us thought to Google the title … Read more

Oh, hello there. I’ve jumped ship to a brand new shiny website. Yip, yip, ain’t it grand? You can see all the things, y’know, check out where I’ll be doing gigs, read some of my poems if you feel so moved – all the things. It’s also not quite so blue as the last blog, … Read more