Mama mia, that's a one tasty poem! Mwah! Mwah!

So I’m just about to make the long trip north for my first full innings at the Edinburgh Fringe – almost a month’s worth of gigging, schmoozing, promoting, and getting to watch some of the best performers in the world. Probably some of the worst, too, come to think of it. One thing’s for sure – there will be a lot of them.

In any case, alongside performing my debut solo show, Tim Clare’s Death Drive, I’m going to be involved with a harebrained enterprise called The Poetry Takeaway. The basic premise is this: come visit us at any time between 11am and 6pm on any of the days we’re open (see below), and one of our poets will write you your very own poem, about anything you want, for free, in 10 minutes or less. We’re taking speed poetry to the masses.

We’ve got a raft of bumptious and talented poets onboard, most of whom are doing shows up at the Fringe. As you probably know, a while back I wrote 100 Poems In A Day as a silly challenge, and I think this should be taken in the same spirit. It’s quite possible that one or two people will throw their hands up in horror at the notion of poetry reduced to fast food, but I suspect most people are smart enough to ‘get’ that it’s just a bit of fun. Who knows – we might even get some good poems out of it!

So if you’re about at the Fringe, why not come to the stall and get your very own, super-exclusive bespoke poem to take away? Whether you’re after an ode to your friend’s horrendous hangover, or a eulogy to the stand-up you just saw die on stage, or a saga celebrating your epic struggle up Arthur’s Seat, or just a poem about giraffes in space, because, y’know, space giraffes would be cool, or a poem to promote your show, why not come visit?

The Poetry Takeaway will be open from 11am to 6pm on Saturday 7th, Tuesday 10th, Friday 13th (brrrr!), Monday 16th, Thursday 19th, Sunday 22nd, Wednesday 25th, and Saturday 28th, outside The Tron church, at the bottom of the Royal Mile.