Every week I force myself to write a new poem, because without deadlines I’ll just sit on my jacksie listening to podcasts and scooping M&Ms into my greasy, sodden maw. They’re all first drafts – sometimes they’re good, sometimes they are the direst of bum-fruit. I do requests! If you would like a poem written … Read more

10 Priests I shot 10 priests. I don’t know why I did it; I suppose I’d had enough of their synchronised wheedling The Luger discharged accidentally during a demonstration of German firearms. One priest had volunteered to play a rebellious POW. I was the executing officer. I did the accent. I thought the safety was … Read more

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: hey, Tim, I don’t have to see anything. You can’t make me. You’re not the king. And to that, I say: if I’m not the king, how do you explain my sweet crown? QED, motherfuckers. 1. Rob Auton: The Sky Show Rob Auton is one of the funniest, … Read more

Wednesdays are when I disgorge a first draft of a poem for your perusal/monocle-popping disgust. Just doing my bit to correct the terrible shortage of underedited poetry on the internet. If you have any requests for poem topics, please let me know via the ‘Contact Me’ button on the right, or drop a message into … Read more

Rat-catching Boiling blood off gin jaws, he stirs his cauldron; witch-finder, squinting through steamy miasma. Droplets form on long whiskers. When he is done, he will bury the traps in the earth for a week, ladling black soil over gleaming teeth. The funk of man will fade, like skin retreating from a skull long sunk … Read more

As I write this I am sitting in my sweltering office, nursing a grippy tum. On Wednesday I went swimming in two Suffolk rivers. It was lovely, but I think I might have swallowed more than my fair share of bacteria, because ever since I’ve had a grim gut ache. Don’t worry, don’t worry – … Read more

So today marks a year since I quit drinking. (if I say I’ve been ‘one year sober’ it sounds a bit rock n’ roll. If I say I’ve been ‘teetotal one year’ I sound like an uptight health freak – neither feels right) Thank you to everyone who has supported me. I don’t have anything … Read more

If you’ve never encountered the phenomenon of song poems, then, my friend, you are in for a treat-a-roo. Song poems were – and still are – made by companies who place adverts looking for lyrics and poems to make into songs. The ads dangle the possibility of radio play and international record sales, but they’re … Read more

The Escape Artists Everyone explodes in the end. That’s what they told him, scrubbing blood and supple gut hunks from the walls of the neighbouring cell. The turnkey whistled a maddening tune as he dunked his brush in the soapy bucket. Suds rolled down brickwork like a beard. You’ll feel it first in your fingertips, … Read more

The Catch It was midnight. He pulled fish from the river with a bright slapping sound, held them bucking in the light of his fog lamps while the engine steamed and snorted. When he called me over I hid my notepad. He said that now was the best time and dipped his hands into the … Read more

In an interview with Time magazine, Woody Allen justified his relationship with Soon-Yi, his partner Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter, by saying: ‘The heart wants what it wants.’ And I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t hear that and recognise it as a romantic, totally unsociopathic philosophy for living. What Woody Allen’s Heart Wants I arrive … Read more

Two for the price of one today! Some of you may know that I present a show on Future Radio every Tuesday morning, 9:30-12, with John Osborne. John wasn’t in yesterday, so I offered to write poems for the listeners on any subject they liked. I got more requests than I could handle (I find … Read more

Automata In a doorway littered with the shells of dead fireworks, he unpacks his haversack of automata: a tin peacock, a magician, a monkey in evening dress. He winds each with a key from his necklace, sets them down amongst cigarette ends and pearls of phlegm. Across the street, the fishmonger lifts his shutters with … Read more

The 100 Little Kindnesses I sometimes catch myself thinking – even preparing to say – I worked damn hard to get where I am today. Always with that tone of shirty defensiveness. Worse, I sometimes – increasingly less often, but sometimes – look at the successes of others and think: but I work so hard! … Read more

Every Wednesday I post a new poem – a first draft, a response to something in the news, or a commission. If you’d like to request a poem on any subject, pop a message in the comments box below or email me via the ‘Contact Me’ link on the right, giving me a title, or … Read more

Last Saturday I took part in an all-night poetry workshop at Writers’ Centre Norwich that ran from midnight til 6am. I didn’t know what to expect, aside from tiredness. Titled ’16 Ways of Writing a Poem’, it was run by Mario Petrucci. I won’t go through his 16 ways – I’d like to preserve the … Read more

Sunrise In The Corpse Garden We have named them after fungi: the blusher, destroying angel, the sickener, penny bun. I take a swatch of glottal tissue from penny bun’s throat and suspend it in alcohol; sun strikes the bottle; flakes of skin turn black as gold. Stinking irises unjaw at the first fingers of dawn. … Read more

On Tuesday night, coming home from my gig in Hackney, I had an idea. Well, ‘idea’ is too grandiose – more accurately, I felt irritated about something. On Wednesday morning, I splurged the idea in a poem. By the afternoon, I was getting feedback online. I tried the poem out in my set in Cambridge … Read more

So every Wednesday I post a new poem. It might be something I’m working on, it might be a warm-up piece, or it might be a commission based on something you’ve requested. If you’d like to suggest a title or you’ve got a subject you’d like me to have a crack at, chuck your suggestions … Read more

Friday is grab-bag day – opinion pieces, reviews, shout-outs for cool stuff I think you’ll like, etc. I’m calling it ‘Tim Clare’s Cone O’ Tragedy’ after my dear departed blogspot blog. If you have any requests for stuff you’d like me to cover, let me know. If you have any books, albums or video games … Read more

I write poems. For the past four years I’ve done a project called 100 Poems In A Day, where I write 100 poems in a single day, taking title suggestions from people and posting the poems online as I write them. I also created a thing called the Poetry Takeaway (with a lot of help … Read more

Hello! Goodness me, I’ve been busy as a bee, moving cities back to Norwich, weathering minor psychic catastrophes and beavering away on the script for my FIRST EVER solo show. Yes. Like a grotesque bee-beaver hybrid, lying on its flank, its useless wings quivering, a rasp issuing from its misshapen, bucked-toothed maw… kill me… I … Read more

Hey folks, check it out – I did a really fun gig a week or so back with Byron Vincent and A F Harrold, based around Poetry and Stand-Up. Before the gig, us and the compere got interviewed – you can listen to the interviews online here. I think the interviewer, Julia, asks some really … Read more

Readers of this blog will know that a fair proportion of my life’s work is devoted to promoting the creative output of the writer John Osborne. He has just done a new youtube video, for a poem I like called ‘I Think Pat Sharp Is Lonely’. Here it is: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwYtDhvDVJQ] Today is MAR10 Day, apparently. … Read more

Apologies for the spotty updates so far this 2010 – I’m hella busy with lots of pseudo-exciting stuff that may or may not come to fruition, and some of that will involve my posting sporadically worthwhile things on this here blog for your perusal. I do enjoy having a meagre platform for my first drafts … Read more