I read this letter in the March issue of Chat – it’s fate, on ‘Angel Lady’ Jacky Newcomb’s advice page:

I’ve recently become interested in angels and began exploring various books and magazines to learn as much as I could. I was excited to discover that our angels each have a name, and they’ll tell us if we ask them.
As I was reading this, the name ‘Sarah’ came into my head. I was so thrilled that I texted my friend to tell her to try the same thing.
I’d had GMTV on in the background and just as I was texting, there was an ad on the TV and a girl’s name was splashed across the television screen. No prizes for guessing, it was Sarah!
I asked out loud if my angel’s name was Sarah, then presenter Lorraine Kelly announced that Sarah Ferguson was going to be on the show. That was enough confirmation for me!
Victoria, 25, Bangor, Co Down

As I was reading this, the word ‘bullshit’ came into my head. I had a gay porno on in the background, and a massive pair of sweaty body parts was splashed across the television screen. No prizes for guessing – they were bollocks! I asked out loud if Victoria from Bangor was a credulous gobfuck, then my dog blew off. That was enough confirmation for me!

5 thoughts on “Dear Angel Lady”

  1. So you went to all the trouble of buying a magazine called it’s fate, which specifically caters to people with an interest in spiritual matters, just to make an unfunny blog about it? Comedy GOLD!

  2. Nah, I ‘went to all the trouble’ of buying Chat – it’s fate so I could whack off to photos of post-menopausal spinsters’ auras. The unfunny blog was a happy by-product.

  3. i thought this was funny, Amanda. Perhaps you didn’t understand what Tim was doing. His narrative technique exactly mirrored that of Victoria. But what Tim did was find three different ways of saying that what Victoria was saying was, and a I quote, “bollocks.” LOL.

    I’ll admit perhaps Tim’s language might appear a little vulgar but what Victoria was saying was such nonsense it was rather fitting.

    Does Chat – It’s Fate really cater for those with an interest in spiritual matters? Surely its mix of sensationalism and spooky coincidences just bores those with a genuine interest in spiritual matters? I thought it simply catered for ‘the stupid.’

  4. Sensationalism and spooky coincidences? Have you ever read Cif (as I call it), Luke?

    I picked up the latest edition from the train station this morning. Articles include: ‘Mum stalks Liberace in the OTHER WORLD’ and ‘LOOK OF HORROR – Death’s eyeless sockets watched me back away IN TERROR’. Go on, take an easy swipe. You’re just scared of what you can’t comprehend. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

  5. another good magazine is ‘love it’. i especially like the (money saving) top tips. there was a good one the other week-

    ‘why waste money on expensive after dinner mints? why not freeze a tube of toothpaste and cut it into sections for your guests?’

    ha ha! true

Comments are closed.