So, in case you don’t know, I’m kicking off a pilgrimage to open mic nights big and small all over the country (and a few beyond). I’ve got a tentative itinerary, although given that these events are mostly run by diligent amateurs, I’ve got to expect that I may turn up in a couple of places only to find a burnt out husk and crisp packets scuttering in the tainted breeze. Although to be fair I’ve been let down more times by ostensible ‘professionals’ than I have by enthusiastic volunteers.

It all starts on April 2nd. My head’s thumping from the logistics of it, but I think that’s probably because, mentally, I’m attempting to do the entire journey in my mind, which is silly. But look – if you are about in any of these places and would like to come and say hello, please visit and say ‘hello’. I will be so grateful for your kindness I will probably clutch at you, weeping with reverence. I’ll put up May dates a little closer to the time. Also, hey if you live in any of these places and could offer me a dry spot to crash on for the night, I will love you and rhapsodise about you to everyone I meet. Also, if there’s anyone in London who wants to come with me to the ‘Comedy Virgins’ gig on the 13th, that’d be fab – I think they’ve got some bizarrely draconian stipulation where if you don’t turn up with at least one friend you’re barred from performing. Hmm.