Hello! This is episode 4 of the Death Of 1000 Cuts podcast. I put it up. You maniacs. I’m committed to doing a run of 10 while I find my feet with this audio lark and get my head around recording, and – yeah. I like doing it! I know I keep saying I will talk to other humans too. That will happen, it’s just a case of getting them in the same room as me. Some little day trips to hunt them down may be in order.
If you’d like to listen to the podcast on iTunes, that is also a thing you can now do.
Here’s the piece I talk about this week. If you’d like to submit, please read the submission guidelines. You can get in touch via the ‘Contact Me’ link on the right.
Untitled (by Dan)
I didn’t realise I’d overslept until after I’d woken up. Flailing my way out of my bedclothes and into the bathroom, I cursed myself for forgetting to check my watch in my dreams.
It was the date of the great village fete. As I hopped down Hicklemore Road attempting to apply trousers to my legs, I briefly wondered why my alarm clock hadn’t gone off, before making a mental note to purchase an alarm clock.
“Morning, vicar!” called the greengrocer as I sprinted past. I had no time for his pleasantries, so I didn’t return his greeting. Also, since I’m not a vicar, there was a good chance he was addressing somebody else.
The fete was already in full swing when I arrived, apart from the full swing band, which hadn’t started yet. No wonder. They could hardly start without their lead saxophonist.
“Come on Dennis,” shouted the bandleader, Gordon. “Where’s your sax?”
I clasped my hands to my head in exasperation, a manoeuvre I was able to accomplish injury-free thanks to the absence of my Buescher 400 saxophone case.
“That’s ok,” said flaxen-haired Melissa. “He can play mine. I’ll play clarinet instead.” She handed me her alto as I sat down next to the flaxen-haired and now sax-impaired Melissa.
“Good,” said Gordon, glaring at me before turning to the rest of the band. The rest of the band were sitting in the same general area as me, so he didn’t really need to turn, but he did anyway.