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Hello dear friends. Just a quick note to say I’m pausing the blog updates – for this week at least – just to give myself a bit of breathing space. I am crazy-busy at the moment and I’ve been allowing myself to get a bit overwhelmed. I love writing my blog, silly and inconsequential and […]

News Monday

So for those of you who missed it (probably deliberately), on Friday I did my yearly 100 Poems In A Day challenge. You can read the poems I wrote here. I actually think this is the pantsest crop of poems I’ve written in all five years. Which is fine. I mean, the bar was set […]



Death Of 1000 Cuts – In The Barber’s Chair: The Phantom Limb (by Steve)

Welcome to Death Of 1000 Cuts – making you an awesome writer, one cut at a time. I’m running low on first pages, you lovely people. Stop procrastinating, bite the bullet, and send me the first page of your incredible, super-polished, future prize-winning novel or short story. 250 words max, just title and text, via […]

Poem O’ The Week: Ha! No Poem!

I’m not posting a Poem O’ The Week this week, and I don’t even care. Why? Because this Friday, I will attempt to write 100 Poems In A Day. Yep, my annual run for the ton is happening a week early this year, on account of my having gigs all next week. Click on the […]

Welcome To The Fantasy Zone Presents: Golden Axe – The Revenge Of Death Adder

Release date: 1992 Systems: Arcade Everyone who ever played a beat em up looks back on Golden Axe with fondness. When I get into pub conversations with anyone from casual gave-games-up-when-they-hit-18 dabblers to hardcore Gamer Til I Die sociopaths, and I mention I’m working on a history of beat em ups, everyone immediately says ‘Oh […]

News Monday

Hallo friend. I been at a stag do all weekend, off in the Hope Valley. I haven’t been in that part of the country since a creative writing holiday about 10 years ago and it’s beautiful, particularly in this part of autumn, when the dying leaves are a crazy range of colours, from yellow through […]

Tim Clare’s Cone O’ Tragedy: Bleugh

So look, I know I missed my schedule with Death Of 1000 Cuts yesterday, and I also know you don’t really mind. Thanks for not minding, hypothetical blog-reading pal. I am more or less done with the latest round of edits on my novel. I know I keep alternately restarting and finishing the editing process, […]

Death Of 1000 Cuts – In The Barber’s Chair: Untitled by Thomas

Welcome to Death Of 1000 Cuts – making you an awesome writer, one cut at a time. Sorry for the delay in getting this week’s post up. I have been editing my own novel, which as you can imagine is a pretty traumatic process. Coming face to face with my own shitty dialogue and improbable […]

Poem O’ The Week: So Long, Suckers

Some strange, sucker-barnacled club slams into the deck while all around the starboard lee, more rise, white cobras in a mist lit by distress flares. The purser smokes his pipe and watches, impassive as a clay idol. Arms slop over the gunwale and shirtless deckhands slap them back with shuffleboard tangs and boathooks; grooved suckers […]

Welcome To The Fantasy Zone Presents: The Simpsons

Release date: 1991 Systems: Arcade, Commodore 64 Remember when The Simpsons was edgy and impossibly funny and we all liked it? Remember how we laughed at the escapades of the titular dysfunctional family as they fought to save their youngest daughter Maggie from cackling master criminal Smithers? (and check out the canonical age of Homer […]

News Monday

What’s cracking peepsters? You might as well know straight off the bat that I have no gigs scheduled this week. I’m bedding down for five days o’ writing before heading off to my good mate’s stag do this weekend. This will be my first stag as a teetotaller. Not that it makes much difference – […]

Tim Clare’s Cone O’ Tragedy: 100 Poems In A Day 2013

On Friday November 22nd of this year, I will attempt to write 100 poems in a day – starting at 9am, and finishing before midnight. As you probably know, I have past form on this: 100 Poems In A Day 2009 101 Poems In A Day 2010 101 Poems In A Day 2011 100 Poems […]

Death Of 1000 Cuts – In The Barber’s Chair: Abra Macabre

Welcome to Death Of 1000 Cuts – making you an awesome writer, one cut at a time. Each week we take a look at the first page of an aspiring author’s novel or short story, and figure out ways to make it better. Good self-editing chops are what writing is all about. Think of this […]

Poem O’ The Week: 3 Ideas For Modern Funerals

Since the Poets’ Graves tour, a lot of the poems I’ve been working on have been about death. This one is no exception. Like all my Wednesday poems, it’s a work in progress. 3 Ideas For Modern Funerals 1. The crematorium is made up like a courtroom The coffin propped in the dock A judge […]

Welcome To The Fantasy Zone Presents: Dynamite Düx

Release date: 1988 Systems: Arcade, Master System, ZX Spectrum, Amstrad, Commodore 64, Amiga, Atari ST I remember the first time I played Dynamite Düx at the arcade in Weston-super-Mare. A friend and I made it to the Stage 3 end-of-level boss, the rock golem, before finally our fighting spirit and pocketfuls of 10ps ran out. […]

News Monday

Hey dear friends. It’s me, your pal ‘Tim Clare’, driving his pick into the blogosphere coalface in celebration of another week’s beginning. When you’re off on tour, life is rich with incident. You see new places, you make new friends, you get into scrapes. You experience soaring triumphs, borne aloft by strangers, and cold, dizzying […]

Tim Clare’s Cone O’ Tragedy: On NaNoWriMo

November the 1st is like New Year’s Day for aspiring writers. Instead of forking out for gym memberships or ostentatiously snipping Marlboro Lights in half over a pedal bin, they crack their knuckles, tweet ‘wish me luck! #NaNoWriMo’ and bed in for a month of handwringing Facebook updates apologising that they’ve fallen behind their word […]